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Addressing money issues

By: matrimonio roma

When communication about money is fraught with tension, then frustration and hurt feelings too often result. Solution is to learn to talk to each other about sex in a way that lets you both feel safe. That means learning the right way to ask for what you want, and the appropriate way to react to your spouse's requests. Because most people feel so vulnerable about whether they are attractive to their spouse and a "good" lover, the key to talking about sex is to be gentle.

A lovemaking session that starts with one partner criticizing the other is going to end faster than a "quickie." The goal of sex is to be closer, to have more fun, to feel satisfied, and to feel valued and accepted in this very tender area of your marriage. Nothing is guaranteed to make your spouse want to touch you less than if you say, "You never touch me." It's better to say, "I loved when we kissed last weekend on the big couch. I'd love more of that, it makes me feel so good." Likewise, instead of "Don't touch me there," you'll get a better response if you say, "It feels extra good when you touch me here." When you talk to your partner about sex, your attitude should always be that you are making a very good thing even better. Even if you aren't satisfied with your current sex life, you need to accentuate the positive.

If you are on the receiving end of your partner's request,try very hard not to see it as an implied criticism of your attractiveness, sexual virility, lovemaking skill,or innermost being. Try to have the same attitude as a professional cook. A chef isn't insulted if a customer isn't in the mood for polenta tonight or has an aversion to squid. Instead he or she makes accommodations that will satisfy the customer's palate.
doesn't mean that you have to agree to all of your partner's requests. It is up to both of you to decide what you feel okay and safe doing and what you don't. Sexuality is incredibly malleable, so it is really possible to make accommodations to each other's desires that will be pleasurable to both of you.

Often expectations get in the way of an optimum love life. Not all sex has to be of the same quality or intensity. Sometimes it will feel like you've touched each other to the core of your souls. Other times it will just be pleasant. Sometimes sex is slow, sometimes it's brief. Variety can and ought to exist in a sexual relationship. But there do have to be times when sex is an expression of love. Obviously, the more often this occurs, the better.
The best way to enrich your love life is to learn about each other's likes and take the time to remember and memorize these things, and to use this knowledge in the way your fingers and lips touch each other. Make sure that this knowledge is really available to you when you are turned on sexually, and make this knowledge live in your body and in your sensitivity to your partner's bodily reactions. This will mean tuning into nonverbal behaviors of your partner as you are beginning to make love. But try to develop the idea that words are also acceptable as ways of communicating even during lovemaking.A major characteristic of couples who have a happy sex life is that they see lovemaking as an expression of intimacy but they don't take any differences in their needs or desires personally.

Your sexual life will be further enhanced if you feel safe enough to share your sexual fantasies with each other and even act them out together. This is a very delicate area. Although fantasies are the home of imagination, variety, and adventure in a marriage, very few couples are able to share their fantasies and then find some way of honoring them within their sex life. If you are able to share your fantasies, the result will be great intimacy, romance, and excitement.

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