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Men and Infidelity

Last year’s census figures revealed that out of all the cases filed for divorce on the ground of infidelity, men were to blame in 75% of them, and their disgruntled wives wanted a way out. Men of various ages were straying from their path, and this included cohabitations as well. The most common pattern was an older male falling for a younger female and causing the divorce from a spouse of roughly the same age group as the husband. Though this is the dominant trait, there is no lack of variation. But why do men have extramarital affairs? Needless to say, matters of the heart have never had any set formulae, nor have matters of the pocket. However, some reasons for infidelity recur more often than others and are, therefore, worth of a more detailed mention. In the following, we have discussed some such common reasons for infidelity on part of men in marriage.

Middle Age Crisis

Around the middle of our lives, certain physical and emotional changes start coming over us, irrespective of gender. Age seems to catch up with us too suddenly, and our hairline seems to recede with a will of its own. This is a phase when many men begin to doubt their virility. A sense of futility is also part of the middle-aged depression. Successful men aged between forty five and fifty five find that they are asking themselves whether they have been able to live life fully. They have earned well no doubt, and have fathered a family. But is the joie de vivre still intact or has it gone to sleep long ago due to the pressures of existence? At this point of time, most men would like to have a rerun of their youth, but that is not possible. So they try to ‘break free’ in general, and an affair is simply a manifestation of the inner turmoil. A younger woman has the promise and nostalgia of the time that has gone by irrevocably, and such affairs are often short-lived. However, they have a disastrous effect on family life, and especially children, who wonder what has gone wrong with their father. On the other hand, such affairs may also strengthen a marriage if it is strong enough to stand the test.

Tired and Bored

Do people fall in love out of boredom? Yes they do, and boredom can be a very strong sentiment indeed. There are many marriages that become stale and flat over time. The couple goes through the same routine of living every day till they are tired with their job, family, house, marriage and all they want to do is part. However, they do not have the sheer energy to do so. There are couples in their mid thirties who have reported having physical intimacy only once in a month, and that too in a listless way. An affair is a welcome break in a situation like this. The man becomes excited at the prospect of a new woman in his life, and often grasps this as a second chance to bring back the old charm and colours of marriage. This is a tiredness that has accumulated over decades, and any chances of rebuilding life or at least getting rid of the present rigmarole are welcomed as a great relief. These affairs may be less transient than the type mentioned first, but they are essentially a product of a life plateau. Everything has reached a flatness, each day is the same and identical when such affairs happen, and their effect is quite strong.

Work Pressures and Circumstances

The work culture of the UK is very demanding and unforgiving. There is no scope for recovery if you miss out on an opportunity. This means that people spend more and more hours at work everyday, some time even in the weekends. One of the greatest reasons why lawyers undergo divorce themselves is that they have so little time for family. With working hours stretching beyond ten hours every day, most men get to spend a sizeable portion of their lives away from home. Work place romances are becoming more common and even more so with the changing nature of jobs. Travelling is an important part of many job profiles now, and it is quite natural that one will love the lady at office more than the lady at home, because one actually hardly gets to spend time at home! The result is an extramarital affair and divorce.

Article Source: http://articleaddict.com

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you want to find out more about a solicitor managed divorce see www.managed-divorce.co.uk

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