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Single Parenting by a Father

By: James Walsh

We have to contend with the reality of drugs, alcoholism, infidelity and cheating. It is not to make as if this world is only filled with horrible things but if we can learn to take the negative aspects in our stride it will help us lead an easier and happier life.
Ideally for the world to be a great place to live in, it should begin with our childhood being a happy one. The perfect scenario would be having parents who love each other and a safe secure home. Circumstances though might be different and difficult and parents may decide to divorce. In such a case while most times mothers are given custody of children being the nurturers, there are situations when the legal authorities might grant custody to a father deciding that he will be the more stabilizing factor.
There may be situations when a mother is a confirmed alcoholic. In such a case the court will not see her fit to bring up children. In fact in such circumstances the mother herself may not want the custody of the children. Mothers who are caught up in drug abuse or run away with a lover may not want the responsibility of children. The court may then decide that the father is the best person to look after and bring up his children.
It’s a Man’s World
Being a single parent is not the easiest thing in the world. Ideally children need the nurturing instinct of a mother and the firm security of the father. When a woman brings up the children with financial support from her divorced husband, it might be a tad bit easier as she is a natural home maker. When a father has sole custody he has to learn the rules of an alien world.
A man can provide easily, it comes naturally to him. If however he has to follow up on children’s homework, co-ordinate their various interests, differentiate the needs of a son and a daughter, make sure they can communicate easily with him and make up for the absence of a mother can be a tough act to take on.
The modern man is more equipped to run a home than ever before. With most couples pursuing careers it is almost mandatory that a man chip in with the household and helping with the children. Men no longer just provide the dough; they are active and equal partners in every sense. This modern avatar of a man will make it easier on him if ever the situation arises that he has custody of the children and has to be a single parent.
A father bringing up children might be different than a mother bringing up children. It is not that one is better or worse but that different things get emphasised on depending which parent has custody. Since he has to concentrate on his career, a father could decide to work around the quality time model than being omni- present.
While it may not be the most easy or natural thing for a father to bring up his children on his own, it is not an impossible task and the fact that he loves his children and wants what’s best for them will serve as a good guide. It is far better for a caring parent even if it is the father to bring up children than strangers who don’t really care.
Is Dad As Good As Mum?
We’ve grown up with pre-conceived notions of what a man is good at and what a woman is good at. In fact it is only circumstances that decide how good we are at anything and we discover hitherto unknown skills. Abandoned by a mother for a selfish interest, children need to be given a lot of love to overcome the loss. The best person to offer them that is the only other person who could love them as much- their father.
Children are resilient and if they have a father who loves them and tries to be both mother and father to them they will respond positively. It may not be an overnight acceptance but with time and love they will learn to accept the situation and appreciate that their father is doing his best.
The bottom line for a father to be a good single parent is to give all his love and make an honest attempt at being the best parent he can and understand the needs of his children.

Article Source: http://articleaddict.com

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com

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